…or The Man Who Killed Terry Gilliam. End of segue.
It’s official (so says the title): Le Clown can’t write worth for shit, but introduces his trademarked fanclub—not a fan club, but the magnificent™ 2-syllable word fanclub.
MOTHER TERESA’S HYMEN OR A HEADER TO CONFUSE TRENT
Le Clown has no qualms with Mother Teresa; let sleeping hymens lie… for the time being. Le Clown’s Official Fanclub™ is my gift to you, my carnies, and by you, I mean me. David Koresh had his Mount Carmel Center; Jocelyn Wildenstein rules her queendom of silicone, and Le Clown created a large playroom under the circus tent, built from Frenglish words and nonsensical sentences. It’s yours, and by yours, I mean mine.
ACOF CLUB MEMBER WRANGLER
“S/he shall be named El Presidente of Le Clown’s Official Fanclub™”. It was a spark of profound clarity. After ego-stroking my fertile imagination, the creative juices gushed out, and spewed El Presidente all over the QWERTY. I typed my mess up, and emailed it to a friend. “You should put a lid on your mind, my dear Le Clown, if your wits can’t harvest a better crop”, she said. “El Presidente is crap. Try ACOF Club Member Wrangler. Offer the position to one of your carnies—they will thank you, and I might stop mocking you…
…But I won’t”.
If there was any ever doubts about the blessedness of life as president of a fanclub, Yolanda Saldívar killed them, and she would have gotten away with murder if it wasn’t for the slaying of Selena. Being president of a fanclub means becoming BFF4EVS™ with the client; it means a day out shopping, eating soft ice cream at the Coney Island boardwalk, and making fun of people who look funny, like Clint Eastwood talking to an empty chair. Being president of Le Clown’s fanclub entails none of the above, but the temporary allocated title of BFF4EVS™, which will get you much further in life than winning an Oscar statuette—just ask Cuba Gooding Jr. Your role as ACOF Club Member Wrangler and ambassador of A Clown on Fire will find you:
- Exchanging emails with Le Clown, and Subcomandante;
- Witnessing how every day is fucking magical up close and somewhat personal;
- Basking in Le Clown’s magnificence™, and learning the secrets of the trade;
- Evolving into an internet meme [hear that Hugo]?
Your polished resume won’t get you in like Flynn. If ACOFCMW™ you crave to be:
- Let your intentions be known in the comment section below;
- Write a Candidacy post on your blog;
- Give a second life to a pop culture icon using Le Clown’s nose or gravatar;
- You post will be linked back on A Clown on Fire ;
- Cross your fingers and hope for the best.
The contest ends on January 25. Subcomandante and Le Clown will have the final say, and the first ever ACOF Club Member Wrangler will be revealed on January 28.
You may use these images only to promote yourself as the best candidate for the ACOF Club Member Wrangler on your post, or to build a Le Clown shrine, or to revel in solitude.
You can find more fan art here. Good luck, and have fun. Daisy, Daisy…
CARNIES: A QUESTION
Le Clown has worked hard on the ACOF Club Member Wrangler‘s job desciption, while watching Les Misérables, and snoozing.
But tell me: what should be the first thing the ACOF Club Member Wrangler do as president of this fanclub?
The Candidacy Posts:
- BroJo Doesn’t Wear Wranglers, But He Could BE ONE Someday – Brother Jon
- Un Clown(e) Sur Le Feu – Brainsnorts
- Twindaddy for El Presidente!! – Twin Daddy
- Job Application #2 – Speaker7
- Fanclub is a Four Letter Word - Psychobabble
- Vying to be Le Clown – Vyvacious
- A clown to Wrangle – iRun iBreathe
- Le Clown, When You Call My Name, It’s Like A Little Prayer – Den Mother
- ACOF Club Member Wrangler – Society Red
And the winners are: