The Great XMAS Blogroll Induction Extravaganza – Day 11.
Le Clown screwed up. This never, ever happens. Le Clown is flawless: common fleeting thought when I catch a glimpse of my magnificence™ in the mirror. About the whammy… I scheduled two blogroll inductions on a same day. Why? Because I am flawlessly disorganized, and I will thank the Heavens for the day my new assistant will start her magnanimous/free/generous duties on ACOF. Let’s make this short and sweet—less Le Clown, more about the inductees. Wendy Reid is a fellow Québécois, and has been a loyal Carnie from almost day one. It’s about fucking time she makes the blogroll. Miss Four Eyes used to be on my blogroll, but Le Clown likes to fuck around with people. So I removed her, and insisted she writes a post if she wanted to be back among the lucky ones. Le Clown is flawless at douchebaggery.
When I first joined the WordPress blogging community back in February of this year I had absolutely no idea what the fuck I was doing. I eased into it like a horny teenaged boy having sex with his friend’s mom for the first time. Now that I’m no longer wet (hehehe) behind the ears, I am actually able to put my creative juices to the test when I experiment with designing my blog (I get bored and change it fairly often) and trying to think up new discussions that might peak the interest of one or two new followers.
I’ve blogged about everything from my writing (see my books here) and my death defying life experiences (Parts I, II & III), to my amateur photography hobby and flash fiction pieces. I’ve met a lot of funny, interesting and kind people through the WordPress blogging community but the most interesting and magnificent ™ has got to be none other than L’Eric or as he’s known worldwide, Le Clown.
When we spotted each other from across the dark, crowded, smoke-filled room, I knew right away that we were meant for each other.
As he made his way through the crowd towards me, my pulse quickened and my knees grew weak. He was even more magnificent ™ in person and I trembled in his awesomeness.
“Bonjour mon amour,” he said as he kissed my hand and tucked his sock monkey back into his pants.
With flushed cheeks and labored breath, I respond.
“Where have you been all my life? I didn’t think such a magnificent man actually existed and I surrendered to the idea of being alone for the rest of my years. You have no idea how glad I am to finally meet you.”
My green eyes sparkled with the anticipation of love and magic, but my blood ran cold at le Magnificent’s ™ next sentence.
“Malheureusement ma belle Wendy, ton appetit et energie sexuelle est sûrement trôp pour moi et je suis peur pour ma santé.”
English translation: “Unfortunately, my beautiful Wendy, your sexual energy and appetite are surely too much for me and I am worried for my health.”
The handsome Le Clown told me that he had a blog here on WordPress and that I should check it out. I did. I forget which post was the first one I read but he swore unapologetically and I knew that I would love it here. I don’t think I’ve missed a post since then.
So…I would never have a steamy romance with his holiness, I would have to settle for masturbating to his one ab photo like the rest of the women who follow his blog.
- Scared to Death II – Childhood Incidents;
- My horn may be broken, but my finger works just fine;
- T.V. Shows I Miss From the 70′s.
MISS FOUR EYES
If you’d said to me last year “Hey how would you like to be a part of Le Clown’s vag fest? You’ll get a badge and everything!” I would have asked you to seek medical help. Me? Be part of a vag fest of a Clown who calls himself, quite pretentiously, Le Clown? You want me to wear a badge for it? Um, no thank you.
Those were simple times. Back when clowns were only part of children’s birthday parties and my nightmares, back when the mention of vagina triggered real blushing, back when I still used to check to make sure my granny panties weren’t hanging out in their nude colored glory. Good old, simple times.
But we live in very different times now. The world has changed. Today, a clown has the legal rights to all sorts of Magnificence™, and at least once a day we all think ‘What would white baby Le Clown do?’. Anyone who is anyone knows Le Clown (and if they don’t I refuse to speak them, as should you). He took over the entire blogosphere before any of us could ask “What the hell is poutine?” and it is only a matter of time until he takes over the whole world. Will there be anyone to protest? No, I don’t think so.
Today, clowns don’t give me nightmares anymore (much). I let my granny panties hang out in their nude colored glory for all to see. And today all the validation you really need for LIFE is getting on this clown’s blogroll.
Me? Be part of a vag fest of a Clown who calls himself, quite magnificently, Le Clown? Hell YES!
Le Clown, I am honoUred to be part of your blogroll. I want to emoticon you so badly right now, a big fat smiley face that says ‘Fuck Yeah!’ I guess for now I’ll just use this: