Everything about Vanessa Chapman is a lie… this is a lie… and this too. Everything she says about us is a lie. Vanessa Chapman does not exist. Vanessa Chapman is not part of my blogroll. The following is not based on actual events. Ask your mom—she was there.
So the conversation went like this…
LE CLOWN: Hey you over there, I’d like to induct you into my magificent blogroll of fabulous magnificense.
ME: Oh no sir, you must have me mistaken for somebody else, this is Vanessa.
LE CLOWN: Yes, I know.
ME: Vanessa Chapman.
LE CLOWN: Yes, I know that.
ME: Did you think I was Vanessa Redgrave?
LE CLOWN: No.
ME: Vanessa Hudgens?
LE CLOWN: No.
ME: Vanessa Williams?
LE CLOWN: No madam, I know exactly who you are, and I want you.
ME: You know I’m British right?
LE CLOWN: Yes, but I want you anyway.
ME: But I am not worthy!
LE CLOWN: Of course not, nobody is worthy, but I have graciously decided to bestow this honor upon a chosen few, of which you are one.
ME: But why me?
LE CLOWN: Because of all the good times we’ve shared together.
ME: What good times?
LE CLOWN: These good times…
ME: Oh right, THOSE good times. Ok, well then I graciously accept your gracious offer, your graciousness. I am eternally grateful. What do I have to do?
LE CLOWN: Just tell the world our story…
So there you have it folks, that’s how I came to be here, sharing this highly sought-after corner of the web with the inimitable, invincible, incredible, Le Clown. Thank you for listening.