“And I think even when life begins in that horrible situation of rape, that it is something that God intended to happen.”- Richard Mourdock , U.S. Senate candidate.
The People have been fucked unwillingly for eons. It was God’s plan all along.
DISCLAIMER #3: Even though Rush Limbaugh is a dangerous douche, I still enjoy making fun of him because of his physical unattractiveness.
DISCLAIMER #5: By no means do I think all large people are physically unattractive—just Rush Limbaugh, Honey Boo Boo‘s mother, and Chris Christie.
DISCLAIMER #6: By no means do I support bad poetry because I think Paul Ryan rhymes with douchebag.
DISCLAIMER #7: It’s not because I like to imagine Richard Mourdock, Rush Limbaugh and Paul Ryan eating at Chick-fil-A that I would call my fictitious scene “The Meeting of the Douches”. But I do think they would all die from a heart attack by doing so—something God would have intended.
DISCLAIMER #8: Vagina.
DISCLAIMER #9: By no means do I think vaginae are offensive because I use the term vagina, nor do I think douches are a healthy option for one. Douching is bad.
DISCLAIMER #10: I do not believe in God™, but in defense of the G (wo)man, I don’t think it’s cool to use God™ as a scapegoat.