The year was 2006. It was a rainy and cold Halloween, and after a less than successful trick-or-treating, Le Clown decided it would be his last. He was 35. He now enjoys Halloween through his kids’ candies.
Le Clown married a woman who shares the same passion for dressing-up… and undressing. During our magnificent™ time together as Mr. and Ms. Le Clown, we’ve impersonated trailer trash in love, a macabre Xmas family, and we’ve been fooling our entourage with our clever “parents of the year” disguise. We’ve also done a pretty decent job of passing Jack O’ Lantern‘s torch down to our kids—we will satisfy our sweet tooth, by any means necessary…
2007. You might be thinking: Hey, you’re a clown, Le Clown… Why do you need a disguise for Halloween? Let me set the record straight for you—there are other things to think about than your favourite blogger: Le Clown’s celebrity status can be a burden; even with my fedora hat, scarves and sunglasses I am continuously stopped for autographs and saliva swaps. I dressed down my celebrity status that particular Halloween when I walked around as Gene Simmons.
2008. Enters the Ringmistress in Le Clown’s life. Our family is stranded in White Suburbialand—you’d bump into a woman with a hijab and you’d think it was a Halloween costume; it’s that bad. Disguises among White Suburbialand’s youth are divided between Spider-Man, Harry Potter, and Lightning McQueen.
2009. It’s l’amour fou between The Ringmistress and Le Clown. Brangelina refers to our couple as Le Couple [author's note: we've stopped returning Brangelina's calls—that Maddox kid has a thing about licking clown make-up, and quite the imagination when it comes to our daughter: "Mummy, Tiny Geek kneed me in the testicles again..."]. We immortalized our love with a baby, a brand new car, and herpes.
Le Clown has issues with authority, this is widely documented. That same year, his company throws a formal Christmas party. Le Clown is about to quit—he doesn’t fit well in a dictatorship that is not his own. Le Clown needs to make a memorable exit: nothing says farewell, my fairweather friend like showing up to a formal Christmas party dressed as Milton the Nerd. Nonetheless, the CEO accepted to take a picture with Le Clown… I am very famous, after all.
2010. The coming of my daughter, born in fire and brimstone, with red eyes, exhaling sulphur. She was a blessing in disguise… if you’re into sleepless nights and Carl Orff.
Le Clown has too many pictures to share about his magnificence™, he should keep a few stashed away if he wants to have blogging material until—at least—December 21, 2012. A last one. A favourite. An appropriate one. Another verbless sentence. Le Clown and The Ringmistress as Han Solo and Princess Leia… Wouldn’t you say Le Clown rocks Princess Leia’s donut hairdo? (Picture by the Ringmistress).
Want to share one of your favourite Halloween costumes with Le Clown’s readership? Of course you do. Either describe it by channelling your best John Steinbeck, or write a comment, and send me your picture at clownonfire at gmail dot com. I will add it to your comment later on today. If you do celebrate Halloween, of course.
ADDENDUM: Le Clown has found his American long lost Halloween sister… Have you seen Psychobabble’s post on Halloween? You should.